Monday, 27 January 2014

logistics and timing and life

A very workaday title for a very wondering post.

Here's the thing.

I'm self employed. I'm 31. I am married. We have a house together. J has a job that's stable-ish, but not 100% stable.

I am starting to feel, and increasingly, J is too, that something is missing. A small, soft, noisy, person-shaped something.

It's not out and out broodiness, though every time we see a cute small baby when we're out, we both nudge each other and involuntarily let out an 'aww'.

It's more a sense that there really should be someone else here who's not. Does that sound strange? I imagine so. To feel the lack of something we've not had. Are we imagining it?

But on the other hand: how does this work, when you work for yourself? I'm feeling that we don't want to wait too long. That the answer might be to save as much as possible and then go for it. Who knows, it might take months. But coupled with the desire to save up for this is the feeling that we need to get other stuff out of our systems. Trips away. DIY. Get sorted, properly ready. I've started playing the Lottery again.

For me, one of the biggest concerns is just how on earth you can be self employed with a business and a baby, without one of the two taking a massive back seat. I think the answer might lie in getting some money in the business, making some profit - and then using that to fund having a family. But I'd really love to hear from anyone who works for themselves, and has made this work.

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